Things are quite finely poised, right now. Between what was and what may be. Between 45 and wrinkles and 46 and more wrinkles. One moment I can see the church spire in Siggiewi, the next a developer buys the two-room house next door and tries to turn the village core into penthouse heaven. Two days ago I had my voice, today I cannot croak two words without diving for the Kleenex.
Isn't this the time when people my age do a 360 degrees, and take up fish farming or shave their head or get an inky tattoo or enrol as a trappist monk or pick up a Harley and head towards the Mojave Desert?
Mercifully , the play has faded fast. Some people loved it and emailed and texted to say so..., some confessed to 'just not getting it' and others hated it with a passion. Which was kind of amusing. Because we always knew it would be like that. Or maybe we were just crap.
Whatever it was, it's all over and as the lawyer turned reviewer suggested.. 'the actors have gone back to their day jobs'.
Well, some did.
I'm up for new things now.
I'm clearing my office. I'm looking at getting involved with another start-up. At the end of the month I will go to a start up conference in London and see what's changed since the heady, pre dot-bust days.
I need to go back to networking, though I have never been terrific at that. Or branding myself.
Sometimes all I want is the company of a book and music in my ears or the chattering of my son, spinning another story in the garden, about pirates with hooks and cackles and people in trouble walking the plank.
These are strange, soul-searching times.
But I've been here before.